History of Aliens

We at Boys Books, love the History Channel.  They have shows about the same subjects we love to write about. Today, New Years 2011, they are running the complete season of Ancient Aliens.

Ah history, so fertile a ground for creativity. We love history so much because it is past. Especially the old stuff, like the Bible. There are lots of things that we can be creative with. For example, David and Goliath. Because Goliath was a giant, we have only two possibilities according to the show:

  A) Goliath was an alien
  B) Goliath was the result of alien gene manipulation

Wow! They even threw in Darwin and evolution to support the theory that it could not be some genetic freak or just a rather tall guy, but a very nasty alien-bred creature. Sadly they never addressed that as alien spawn Goliath was poorly designed and was easily killed by a boy with a rock and sling.

I think they were missing some critical hyperbole. David's sling was code for Phaser. You know, Captain Kirk phaser. It is obvious to us. We are also fairly sure that Gene Roddenberry was the holder of secret information passed down from the time of David and used to great profit as a plot device in Star Trek. That's right, Roddenberry was descendant from alien hunters in the Bible.

We will pitch this idea soon to the History Channel. Be sure to watch "Roddenberry: Alien Hunter". We have no evidence, but all the signs point to Gene dying in a defense of the Earth.

Our new show will be like most History Channel shows. We will want to save a lot of money. First, no need for any costly Star Trek footage. We will just stand outside a Star Trek convention. Any footage will just be panning shots of old Bible art and 50's science fiction magazine covers. Of course there will be the gratuitous references to Nostradamus so we can use all the footage from about 30 other History Channel shows.

Our experts? Who needs experts? We will use the same Star Trek conventions to explore the evidence and get the opinions of experts dressed as nameless yeomen and Klingons. Yes, just like a great History Channel show: Lots of history, tons of opinions based on wild speculation.